Weeks ago we wanted to do sth cultural...

So he other day me and Nick went to Fort-Worth, we planned to chill by the pool all day, but since the weatherman is a lunatic we were forced to ditch that fancy little plan and go do something else instead. So i insisted that we should go to Fort Worth to the art festival, or so it was called. I know how much he hates crowds and crap like that, he still agreed. He said that he wanted to go because i wanted to go... yeah right! Im not buying that shit... I knew that the MMA fights were on that night, so he was just being a little sneaky. Here is the real deal, he just wants me to watch the fights with him later and gonna pull out the art-festival card... Haah, not gonna happen, i aint gonna watch anything bloody on saturday night, forget it!

But lets just say, i hated the crowd as much as he did, people were just there for the food, fried food, fried everything. Thats how it seemed. So in 30 minutes we were done, first he wanted to go the cigar shop and then we found a nice rooftop bar. 2pm=MojitoTime!!!

He was smoking his damn cigar and poisoning the kids the next table. And me. I was people watching and overhearing peoples conversations because they were being very damn loud talking about yahoos. Nick said i was a bad peoplewatcher and i could never become a CSI agent. Pssst whatever. I just told him that he smells like beef and cheese...

Later I went out with Jamie, and he watched his damn fights.

Tipsy-sick by the pool!

The next morning didnt look any prettier, Nick picked me up because he wanted to take care of me... He didnt know what he was getting himself into... First of all i was looking like i barely made it through hell, and second... i was just a big pile of misery.

But he did good. He thinks like russian, wanted to treat me with alcohol. I was like hell no! Im not putting anything into my body until i know it could stay in for at least twice the time it took me to consume it.

The next day, we wanted to do something active, but as soon as we got my stuff, it was 29 degrees outside and we decided against anything but pool! Got some drinks, some music and went down to the pool. Yes, i did drink vodka coctail to a very empty stomach. (its hard to ignore a fully stocked bar he has at home for 2 days straight) I got sick-tipsy, felt funny, felt like i had been eating mushroom-vodka soup and a spacecake for a dessert! THings got veeeeryyyy funny! I was able to eat a little dinner which means maybe alcohol does cure everything. Sometimes i feel im native russian... who knows..

This is not a vitamin water, trust me! But it covers it up pretty good, doesnt it :D

CHEERS!

Soooo sick..

Thursday morning i got very nausiated and started to feel veeery funny. Im not gonna describe all the shit that happened to me that day, all i can say is that there was a lot of it. Dad was just like... Morning sickness. Thats what i needed to hear, because you know things happen. But no. I got it from mom, who had it for a week, it was probably some kind of stomach virus, bacteria or sth like that.

Or... maybe it was the martini, my mom told me what happened to her last time they had chocolate martinis... I dont know, but the bottom line is, i was sick. Over the lunch i went home to eat some Bebto Pismol, it is the pink-paint colored liquied that supposed to make you feel better when you have stomach problems. How something with so much fake color in it coule possible be good to your stomach?? It tasted like digested powder, ööölkkkk!

The same day we went out to eat for my moms birthday, my meal looked and tasted delicious, but my stomach didnt really stomach really didnt give a shit... It found its way out real fast! I was done with eating for a while now. But that promise didnt really affect how the virus treated me... Around 8 i got a fever, it got up to 38. I was feeling miserable... Everything was bad, and i got depressed and felt so sorry for myself, it just had been the shittiest week so far! It was just better to go to sleep. Thats what i did.

My new hobby

Tuesday night, migrane. Great day!

Wednesday Nick came to see me, we went to a lounge in parker square to people watch and drink. I had my first Chocoalte Martini.... It was sooo damn good.

There was a man and a woman at the bar, and they seemed like they had started off with a happy hour after work, going just as friends, or at least wanting others to see that. And then got drunk, together. Because the woman was all over the man, who just kept on buying her drinks... Psst, i bet he just wanted to get her drunk and she just wanted to bang-boom him! ANd i bet they were both married. So when we were sitting outside, drinking, we saw them coming out, the woman was all over the man, and they were making out in a parking lot, and the woman pulled the im-too-drunk-to-drive. So the man drove her home, in her car! I was like, what the hell, how does he get back to get his car? And Nick said, that in the morning. I was like okay, yes, probably so. I wanted to take pictures, get the licence plate number and stalk down their information and start blackmailing both of them. I mean its a great thing when you hobby actually pays off, right?

Carless doesnt mean "less"

Oh, did i mentioned, that i didnt have a car for a week..
Meaning i got to use my moms brand new Lexus convertible:

Wit wit wit wit wit with with with the top down
Seat back rolling in my LexiSack
Soft Control, knowing nothing wrong...

This thing is SWEEEEEEET!!!

Clearing up the ash shit vol2

So the tickets got taken care of. That filled up my whole day on Monday. I went to Nicks that night, because i had scheduled an appointment in US. Immigration Citizenshit to attain a satisfactiory departure, and it was in Irving where he lives. Of course i was running a little late and of course i got lost, by driving by those damn google map directions. I made it there, late. The lady told me that i needed to show my flight tickets back, which i hadnt with me. I told her i didnt have a printer, i mean how many tourists carry printers around, right? So i tried to pull it out on my iphone to show her my ticket confirmation, but her supervisor said they need a copy. I was like can i send it to you to an email address and you can print it out? She said they dont have email addresess. Great no phone numbers, no email addresses? Online retards... we live in 21st century! Well, so i email nick my tickets from my iphone and told him to print them out and meet me at starbucks, but since he had to hurry to work, i had to drive all they way to his meeting, which was in the middle of somewhere-i-had-no-clue-about. Finally made it back to that office, and they gave me a satisfactory departure, sounds very fancy, but it was just a handwritten notice on the back of my I-94 form (a little piece of paper they give you on the border that carries information about you). I was like, are you serious? No stamps or signatures or anything???? Really?? Well... next time i want to stay longer, i will just write it myself. OR if you will need it, i will write it for your I-94 too, i memorized it!
Well first off, i wrote to US Embassy to ask what should i do to extent my Visa Waiver program, they said there is no way you can legalize you overstay... i was like really? Thats not the same info i got from other agencies.. So I wrote them exactly what one should do when they cannot leave the country due to a shitty things, such as the volcano, and need to extend their visa vaiwer program... And that you CAN legalize your stay. It just pissed me off, they should know and they should spread that infoo... Dumbasses.

... i no longer have any comments for that day.

So here i am. Sitting by the pool. Drinkin. Drinking champaigne. Straight from the bottle. 3 oclock in the afternoon.Listening to "Kill yourself" by TImberland... Its the best suicide song ever! ...and trying to deal with all the shit that the damn volcano had caused me. I do not wish to fall into the details of all the fucking mess that #¤¤%"¤%#&¤" has caused me.

It all started last night when i checked my flight status for tonight from Dallas to London. It was cancelled. Ok, you would think how hard would it be to reschedule a flight right? Well, it is... especially when you 6 different tickets depending on that flight. Its hard to stop now... im gonna let it all out...

Since last night i was on the phone with American Airlines for an hour and a half, trying to find the next available flight to Europe, which is in a week, on 27th.
This is a great flight by the way!!!
I will leave at 5.25 in the morning, have a layover in Chicago, and get to London at 10.45 at night. There are no flights leaving London that late.. i will have to camp out at the airport for 9 good hours. Do airports have bars???

Got 2 flights down, now i needed to get a hold of SAS to get a refund for my other tickets... Easy right? THink again... SAS has no offices in US, everywhere else I called, Sweden, UK etc, were closed. Gotta work around it. I called Vayama where i purchased the tickets. And that was a pain. The first call, i was the 40th caller, i was on hold for 55 minutes and when i was first on line, the call dropped....... I was turning purple, but called again. This time waited for 80 minutes and when i was 3rd on line, the called dropped again. My brain was overheating, im pretty sure i was running a fever from anger. Called again, waited for 73 minutes until i started hearing mumbling on the other side of the line... I was like excuse me what was that again... and... again, something unidentified was being said. Then i realized... this is an Indian dude on the other side.. His accent was just soooo bad that all i really got to say was, Im sorry would you repeat what you just said? Finally we got past the confirmation number, so he put me on hold for 15 minutes. At the end of the conversation i heard the sentence refund, so i was like, Okay. BYE!

FInally the tickets are okay.. But, this whole mess was far from being over..
another shit was flying at me. Im on a visa Waiver program and i need to leave today because my 90 day period expires today, so i needed to contact the US Embassy in Estonia, and the Estonian Embassy in Washington, and the US. Citizenship and Immigration Office and Estonian Ministry of Foreign Affairs. I emailed them all my sad story. Then i called Washington for more information what i needed to do. They told me to call to New York. Ok, called there, they told me to contact USCIS (US. Citizenship and Immigration Services) ASAP (As soon as possible) and request a satisfactory departure whatever the hell that is. Okay... seems easy again? YEah right... So their website had one number, i called it, the automatic system told me all about the Hurricane in Haiti and other unuseful shit i really didnt look forward to seek. Then when i had been trying to get a hold of an actual person, and i failed twice i decided to drop it and find a local office. I did find the address, but no phone number. SO i called the number information and they transfered me to the Immigration Information of Hell. It took 4 more transfers until i got a hold of with a lady. That lady seriously gave me a deep desire to commit a suicide. She told me that im a shitty person for not leaving on time, and they dont care about the volcanos or the weather and this is the law and they dont give a shit. If i would have known where this lady was located at this moment... i would have gone to meet that Agent of Hell face to face and fill her with all the shit i have been gone through... i swear.. I mean, seriously lady, what do you expect me to say.. "Yes mam, thansk for the information, i will get my Swimsuit RIGHT NOW and start paddling across the ocean. Have a great day!"
Idiot! Well, as it came out she doesnt even work for that office i needed to reach or who needed to resolve this issue... I dont really understand why is this happening to me...

After talking to that lady i was rethinking the whole desire to talk to an actual person. But i had to do what i had to do.. So somehow I got the local office number, i called it, all they said was that if you are calling to this and that and that, you should call the international number. After doing that, i finally reached a person. She told me that i need to schedule an appointment with the Local Office of USCIS because they dont have a phone number and they do not accept walk-ins. Ok, so i went online, tried to schedule appointment. Easy? nahh... It asked me bunch of questions regarding to my problem, and finally told me that i didnt need an appointment, that i needed to find a solution from their webpage... At that point, i was looking for the nearest spade and buckle and a good pieceful spot of dirt where to dig my grave.

FInally i got the appointment by writing down all sorts of false information and lies the system would let me schedule an appointment. Its in Irving at 8.30 am. For some reason i have a feeling this will not go very smoothly. Shit.. i need to start drinking 7 am then.. otherwise i would let them know, in detail, how i really feel about the whole US. CItizenSHIT Services...

So here i am, after getting fucked over for 7 hours straight. With my best bud, a bottle of CHampaigne.

I need another one..

PS! And if i ever get a chance to talk to that damn volcano face to face...
All i can say, he will be dead silent for the next 25 decades.

Me and my friends took a little vacation....

Nah... actually...
IMMA IPHONER NOW!!@@@@@@
I have become one of those IRetarded people who get IHigh on surfing the internet in the toilet, watching Lady Gaga's last video in a bath, playing scrabble in a grocery store and instead of working... making these!!!!

Easter suicide..

So on Monday, after the Easter I decided to get Nick a chocolate rabbit as a late easter present. It was in a pink box and everything. I left it in my car and since it was soo hott on that day, it melted a little bit. So yesterday when i was over there again, the rabbit has dissappeared, so i asked him where it was.. I got that guilty face. Then i got the smirk. And then i got the story. He was like "i couldnt help it! That poor little guy seemed soo miserable. It looked me with his melted little eyes.. And screamed at me, all i got was that he wanted to get out of this place! So I opened the door and it was gone! It was hauling ass down the corridor right to the pool, I saw it! And jumped in! He said, Fuck Easter, im too old for this shit buddy!" Im like really? He was like, "Yes! Did you see that easter disaster? He was done with this shit! Go and look, his melted eyes are probably still floating in the pool!"
Thats the easter spirit... and the last chocolate bunny he ever sees in his life.

Question!!!

Does anybody even reads this blog?
Or is it my own little self-entertainment center here..
Leave your name in the comment section if you had ever read this blog! And I promise to send you a thank you note with a chocolate easter bunny!

Easter spirit

I did not paint any eggs.
I did not eat any eggs.
I didnt see the easter bunny.
Nick said he painted few eggs and threw them at people. I told him that this is not how it works. He is supposed throw the eggs at the easter bunny to knock him out, then steal the goodie basket, eat everything as fast as he can to destroy the evidence and get a sugar poisoning. Thats the spirit of easter!

I got my goodie basket without murdering any rabbits!
Thank you mommy for a peaceful easter!

PS! The card was very inspiring and shifted my thoughts towards great things!

Datenight

After the detoxification program Nick took me out to dinner in Hilton Anatole Hotel. The restaurant was called "Nana", it was on 27th floor with a breathtaking view to Dallas skyline. Loved it! The dishes we shared had the following ingredients: raw tuna, wasabi icecream, some kind of birds in butter, Kobe steak sliders, cheeses, almonds and olives in olive oil. Everything was delicious! Including the champaigne coctail to go with all the fancy food... Im not quite sure what they put into that coctail, but i was toasted when we finished the dinner.. and those heels i had on didnt really help! I cant really explain what happened, have i really lost all the alcohol tolerance i had before? Or was my body just so detoxified that the alcohol went straight to my head? I dont know... But regardless of my tipsyness, it was a great night!

This aint shit aint working...

These are my feet. Im in a process of detoxifying my body. The patches, those damn powder pockets under my feet are supposed to suck out all the shit i have in my body! Let me just say... the glue strip didnt stick very well, and besides that... the powder packets in the middlewere leaking. So instead of useing 2, i used 6. This is great! Now im just sitting here, tucktaped feet, in front of the dead tv (cannot figure out how to turn the tv on with the exbox still connected to it)trying not to move, DETOXIFYING myself. This shit aint working! Here is a powder path following me wherever i go. And let me tell you...when i took them off, my shoes were grey instead of white, my feet were sticky, nasty and dirty and my brain was double toxicated with anger hormones! My detoxified feet looked like they had been in civil war. So im gonna write to the manufacturer whoever made those damn patches and ask them to explain me why all this shit happened to me... and make them reimburse my ruined shoes, my now depressed feet and my toxicated brain. This is bullshit.... detoxifying patches...