Alecia invited me to go to Galveston to the place called Jamaican Beach the following day. It was like 6 hour drive, I slept through it. We stopped in Houston to pick up Dave from the airport. So it was me, Alecia, Drew and Dave. In Houston we had an hour to kill, so we went to the shoe store.. Here is the sign from that shoe store`s restroom door.. we found it quite entertaining. (2 ply toiletpaper is very cheap and very shitty toiletpaper, you need at least a whole roll to wipe off nr 2).We were staying in Alecias parents condo which was right at the beach! It had 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 2 balconies and living room, with the drinking table... and the white couch. The couch was for decoration, but who cares, since the drinking table is all set! It was spinning around!!! Here is my room and my bathroom:
So lets cut the crap, get to the real stuff!
Food: check.
Sunscreen: check.
Bikinis: check.
Rum: Check.
Tequila: double check, check check.
So here is the story of Jamaican Beach, in Pictures:
The most imortant stuff to survive in the heat... Margarita! I would never thought i would say this.. You will find out later, why! 
Drinking Pina Coladas at the beach house.. at happy Hour! They were 50% off from 4-5 pm... guess how many i could drink in an hour??? I got too drunk to remember..
... and after the happy hour we went to do a photoshoot, in front of the beach club. I wanted to get naked for the photoshoot, but those horny male workers wouldnt leave! Finally a trashcan or sth like that set on fire so they had to leave to clear up that mess.. or sth. like i that. Dont really remember, they just had leave real fast. So i started taking my clothes off, but thats the closest i could get before they got back. Good enough, we went skinny dipping afterwards.
Well, this day we had to WALK to the beach, because the guys went deep sea fishing and took the car. It was a good 15 minute walk there, because we wanted to use the right track... otherwise you might bump into an alligator, and we werent in a mood to play with those, we were in a hurry to get the beachparty started. But on the way there we found a palm tree and decided to do a little photoshoot climbing it.. but we never made it past the thought. That rum in the morning coffee has nothing to do with it, plus, it was humid. And it was a morning and etc.. you know what i mean!
That is called the PowerHouse of the trip! You get tired or fatique or sunburn, you just go to the "powerhouse", take like 3 different bottles (the chances that at least one of it is MegaPowerful 40% proof, is very high
), pour it in a cap, add some ice and get it into your system. Orally. Dont try at home! Your Mama might get a little disturbed if the home pool consist half liqour half pee.. And especially when you have underaged kids swimming at the same pool... that shit is strong, it will absorb into your body through skin!
Dancing around the palm tree, with the palm tree, under the palm tree, you know what i mean... Closest thing we could find to a stripping pole. 
I dont think it needs any comments on my behalf.. But feel free to add some yourself, if you think you know what was going on :)
OMG! These guys showed up like the first day we were at the beach. For the record, they were ass drunk and wanted to say hey and invite us shooting guns... Drew and Dave wanted to go golfing or fishing and they tried to ask them about those places, but no. THose guys were sooo determined to have a party at their house and then go shooting. The drunkiest one told us all kinds of shit he has done, with his shotgun.. Trust me, you dont want to know.Bunch of drunkies with guns?? Shit no! I might have been a little toasted but I manager to maintain a strong desire to live! But you gotta understand, its Texas, and Texans loooveee their guns... loaded!
Sitting in a hot-tub. Drinking. Did you know that drinking in a hot tub is very effective? You can get drunk twice as fast as without sitting in a hot-tub? And did you know that in a hot climate there are NO Hangovers?? Damn right..
This is our surfing board! We got the owners number on Craigs list. Alecia told me that the ladies who delivered it were lik 50, and it seemed like they had pulled an all-nighter with a bottle of whiskey. They looked rough, burnt, and still drunk. But great board! Really.. So we take it out, we are sooo excited! 
Until we notice that there is a huge crack in the middle... So we called the lady, she tells us to tape it.. i mean.. really? But then again, how much do we really know about surfboards.. So we go back to the beachhouse, ask for a tape and repair it.. it was entertaining, for us at least. We needed to take an hour break to recover from the manual labor in the heat. 
THis is the point where i realized that there is no way my skin can take any more grilling. I was done! And another tip, before you start with the margarita, always make sure to use sunscreen, because later you will just forget or you think you did it, even if you really didnt. Our excuse is, that we just ran out. 
Well, we wanted drink in the shade, because first, its a very bad idea to get drunk in the sun (explained above) and second, we were just so burnt. And didnt want any sun... Its just we didnt realize it was 9 pm at night and there is no sun.. And again, it has absolutely nothing to do with margaritas or earlier happy hour pina coladas. 
My mom facebooked and reminded me that it is her and dads 20th anniversary.. and was kind of bothered of the fact that i was the one on the vacation, not them. So we took shots for them.. for every year they had been together! Thats bullshit of course, we didnt take 20 shots will kill you, even if its water. Cheers! 
We were burnt. I personally had 3 coats of aloe gel on my skin to cool it down on that picture. I couldnt sleep, i couldnt sit.. it was bad!!! Its baaaad to be in the sun and run out of sunscreen! its baaad. Im telling you! Dont be by the water or in the salt water even worse, and have no sunscreen on and think you are tough enough to take it. You are not... or actually why dont you try it and come back and tell me how did it feel? If they will let you use the internet in a hospital, and if your fingers are not burnt enough to type me a comment here.. 
Thats how white we started off!
Thank you, come again! Eee... Tequilaaaa!!! All the other pics are in facebook, at least the ones appropriate enough to post. I cant post them here, because this stupid thing takes forever, and i have no patience. I worked on that post for more than 3 hours, so im DONE! I have so much more to write about...
But here is the biggest 2 lessons i learned in Galveston..
First, im not as badass as i think i am. My skin is not rubber, it burns! Especially if you are in the salt water surfing (or.. trying to surf). The skin really doesnt care that usually SPF 4 will do the trick for the whole day, it most definately wont work in the water, salt water. And if you have a spray one, make sure you spray and then drink, not the other way around. Otherwise you might be spraying the sand, the towel, your friend or a stranger next to you, your purse or anything else close by... And things can get real bad..
The second lesson i learned is how to drink tequila without any further complications (read hellish hangovers, drunk accidents and other shit it usually causes). Let me tell you, the last and the first time i had tequila, was 5 years ago, on a crusise boat, when she turned 18. We wanted to try something new... so why not Tequila! We had the little packets of salt (luckily the boat had mcdonalds) and lemon (asked from the bartender) so why not to give it a try! So we took shots, until the bottle was empty.. and hoooly jesus.. Things really started happening... The worst karaoke you have ever heard (couldnt even identify the song), misdemeanors in the kids room, crawling around the boat with no shoes on, those little miscoordinations on the dancefloor and the things i dont really want to talk about. And then we decided to go back to the bar, and drink all sorts of coctails, like 4 per face, like there is no tomorrow.
... 4 hours later, when it was time to wake up and go home... it hurts to remember. I wish i was never born, it was reallly really bad. I wouldnt even call it a hangover, i would call it a serious medical condition, a very intense alcohol poisoning... The closest words to describe how i felt this morning would be, like trashed donkey in a desert, it was close to failing a suicide.. And from that moment on i swore not ever hate myself that much to go through that hell again. And I did, for 5 years, until This vacation.
I learned how to drink Tequila, 3 days straight without stopping, never feeling wasted or fatique or had a hangover. Please email me to get tips.
Cheers!
No comments:
Post a Comment