My mom had agreed to participate in the reality show called Dinner for Five. So on Sunday the camera crew arrived to film the whole show at her galleria. We were fully prepared, the cake was made and all the ingredients for the 25 different meals were shopped, besides strawberries. We could not find them anywhere, but there are always pears! I was prepared too, to cook all the meals for her and she was prepared to put the food on a plate and decorate it in front of camera... didnt happen. Because, the crew wanted HER to cook, everything in front of the camera. Bad news. She cant cook. Not from those ingredients. Not those promised meals. She freaked out, but a good friend Brandy calmed her down real fast (it was originally for her throat).
This whole project went bad veeeryyy fast! First, she burnt the chocolate that i melted already for her (the whole house smelled like a chocolate ash). Well, she decided to spill sprinkles on it and feed it to us later... But first, to call me downstairs so i can show my "washed-out-partied-away-nomakeup-hangover-as-a-bitch face" and a "bird nested hair" to the whole country! Then she had troubles with the pasta, according to her, the water didnt boil meaning the pasta had just soaked there for good 20 minutes. After she realized that she had turned on the wrong plate on the stove... she overcooked it after soaking it. On top of that she smashed it into a porridge (i told her to stir it, obviously she overdid that too). Well. THe pasta was multicolored so the whatever-food-it-could-be-called looked like 78 hangovered smurfs had thrown up their "leftovers" into that one pot. It really didnt look very appetising. I would not eat it even with my worst hangover. It was time to take a break from filming and offer my grandpas wine to the camera crew! THey were fascinated.. and very soon tipsy.
Making sushi was the best! By that time i already had a mic attached and was obliged to help my mom. I was trying so hard to hold my laughing. Im pretty sure my mom had been drinking that wine as well, because she forgot to use the rolling map, then she was rolling the map into the sushi, then she almost cut her fingers off, made the whole damn thing wet and with a smart face, told on the camera thats how its made... I had tears in my eyes, i couldnt tell her to stop ruining the whole thing, because i was laughing so hard, i mean seriously i had tears in my eyes it was so funny. We had to stop filming, because all 6 men holding the cameras and microphones were turning red because they couldnt hold it anymore.. we were just feeding off each other... My mom was in her own little world, still rolling the sushi! We needed a break, to open another bottle of wine. After that, nobody really cared about how the food will taste, as long as wine, brandy, and half a bottle of whiskei will be served..
The guests arrived. Since we werent quite sure how the "smurf pasta" is gonna taste, we got all the guests drunk at the very beginning, by offering a glass of champaigne for appetizer with few pears in chocolate which were really impossible to get off the plate. They got stuck on the plate. Then sushi with sake... and then my granpas wine. To be sure that their tastebuds would be 120% numb by the time to eat smurf pasta. That came with another bottle of wine. THere is no telling how many of them had dierrhia afterwards. By the time of desert, the producer were just wandering around dead drunk, the rest of the crew were finishing up the third or forth or who the hell knows which bottle, all the guests seemed happy and tipsy, and my mom was just shining, it seemed she no longer had no idea what was going on.
HAve fun watching :)
http://www.tv3.ee/online Õhtusöök viiele 2010 31. mai.
